MY SPIRITUAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Introduction

I strongly believe that I have been sharing this part of story to many people not only Christians but also to non Christians.  David the psalmist really encouraged me when he said, “I will praise you Lord with all my heart and I will ‘tell’ of all your wonders. (9:1). In most cases it is so challenging to disclose and to be honesty with one’s life. However, as I have pointed already this story gives me joy when I am sharing it with a person either verbally of written like this. For this reason, I am convinced that what ever I am writing is an original and true testimony about my spiritual life.

History of early influence

In the first place, I would like to unwrap myself that my name is Dickson Bota. My beginning as a legally recognized individual occurred on 10^th June, 1983, at Mulanje Central Hospital in Mulanje District which is the Southern part of Malawi. I was brought up in a God- fearing home of Mr. and Mrs. Bota. However, at the age of 12 my father for whom I was named breathed his last. That was a time when I was pursuing my primary education. Life became hard and meaningless because it was difficult to stay without the one bringing bread on the table.

My mother originally named Esnart but then nicknamed Nagama (charity) who left school at her early age, failed to make the ends meet as a widow. Despite the poverty that found home as a conducive environment, I continued with my education regardless of having water and porridge as a meal after school. It was really difficult to understand God’s nature in that time of crisis. But now I have came to the point of realizing that God’s grace was still working on our family and nothing was taking place without the knowledge of God. The other side of the story came in when I started my High school. My uncle adopted me and started providing all the needs that the student requires including school fees. This was the time I counted myself jumping from the hot water into the cold water. I started realizing that God never disappoint a human being. “For God will not reject his people he will never forsaken his inheritance” (Psalms 94:14).   I count this as a transitional point in my life. Since then, my world view changed and I started interpreting life differently.

Conversion

Christianity to me began from known to unknown. I am so convinced that by virtue of being born in a Christian family the moment I introduced to this world parents claimed me as a Christian. As I was growing, I welcomed everything that the parents were doing as Christians, though I was not internalizing what it meant to be a Christian. This reminded me Nicodemus, a teacher of the law but not yet received Christ.  As a little boy under the obligations of the parents, I used to attend the church service as a ritual because everyone at home was expected to follow what the parents were practicing. This is a reason why I do not hesitate to name that old Christianity as a cultural heritage practice.

The preaching of the word of God on every Sunday used to pass through my mind without internalizing its significance because of sinful nature. “Those who live according to sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires” (Romans 8:5). I used to indulge myself in immoral behaviors e.g. fighting.  However, the grace of our Lord Christ was still active in my life “for while I was still a sinner Christ died for me” (Romans 5:8).  On Sunday the day 12^{th day} of June, 1999, I found myself at the alter confessing and inviting Jesus to be my Lord and personal savior. I couldn’t remember if there was any external stimulus that provoked my response. But what I still put in my memory is that the message found home in my heart.  In response, I had no option but to open the door for Jesus who I am sure was knocking on the door of my heart. “Here I am I stand at the door and knock if anyone hears my voice and opens I will come in and eat with him and him with me” (Rev 3:20). It was the voice which was entitled, “Open for me”. From that time my life changed, and I was assured that I am a new creature. “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.” (2 Cor.5:17)  I made my body not to host evil thoughts instead making it as the temple of God. (1Cor.3:16).

Still in my early life as a born again Christian, I changed the school and followed my uncle in town. This is where my high school friend Immanuel introduced me to the Church of the Nazarene. I was so much convinced and satisfied with this church which bases her doctrine on Holiness.  I realized that Holiness is God’s central purpose for humanity. “Therefore be holy because I am holy” (Leviticus 14:44).

When I joined this church in 2001, I really felt that Nazarene it’s a community that God wanted me to grow in my spiritual life. I used to engage myself in spiritual disciplines such as fasting, witnessing, praying at the local church. Besides these, corporate worship played a great role in helping me to grow spiritually. Worship really became a cerebration of the completed work of Christ for me. “Now we may draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith”. (Heb.10:22).

Personal call into Ministry

It took a couple of months for me to be won over that God has called me into His divine ministry. When I received Christ as my personal savior, there was no any ministerial office like pastor, bishop that I was admiring. Despite being active in the church, I had no reason for seeing myself as a pastor. As time went, my activeness in the church especially ministering to the youth laid a benchmark for me to be appointed as a Sunday school leader at our local church. I did not consider this as a hindrance to my own set goal of becoming a Lawyer without knowing the plans of God. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord” (Jer. 29:11). Through the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, I became very valuable person in the church.

As days were numbering, God kept using me in preaching His word. However, I did not mull myself as a person called by God. Different people started recommending the gift I had as really from God. I used to refute and recommendation from anybody whose intention was to drive me into full time God’ ministry. When I finished my grade 12, I geared up to pursue my goal. However, the low voice of God’s calling started heard in my ears though I was pretending as if I was hearing nothing.

I kept on struggling with these two offices until God proved Himself to me that He wanted my availability not my ability. The pastor and other church members kept on telling me that God was calling me into His divine ministry.  On 4th August 2005, I found myself admitting the calling of God. The visitor who preached that particular Sunday preached on the theme:  “Calling”.  He read Isaiah 6:8 “whom shall I send? And who will go for us? And I said, Here am I. send me”   That was the time I confirmed God’s call in my life.

When I become fully contented and convicted with my call and be given confirmation from the church, I was ready to move forward and allow God to go with me.  I was aware that without God’ presents nothing spiritual could be accomplished. “If your presence does not go with us do not send us up from here” (Ex.33.15) I later communicated my call to the District Superintendent who in turn encouraged me. In supporting my calling the church in collaborating with the Senior Pastor prayed for me and appointed me as an Assistant Pastor.

Struggles is Spiritual journey

It was this time that the meaning of Christianity changed in my mind.  Personally I would like to acknowledge that there was no sin that kept on struggling me when I became I new creation. However, I started receiving treats from both family members as well as some friends for accepting God’s calling. Some assistance e.g. finances from family members cut off as one way of proving their disagreement with the decision I made. But still I delighted and trusted in God knowing that he is faithful to give me the desires of my heart. (Psalms 37:4)  People started telling me that the work of the Lord is so tough.

 However, I found the psalms of David meaningful that the Lord is near to those who are available and call Him (145:18). As an assistant pastor, not well experienced and trained, I had also some challenges especially in counseling the youths and some members when they approached me with their problems. I used to see myself as adequately having all the solutions. However, as time went, I started acknowledging God to be in the midst of my ministry. I discovered that “unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain”. (Psalm 127:1).

When I did this, I personally see myself relieved from the burden I had because of the egocentricity. On the other hand, the theological training that I was acquiring from the college assisted me in handling some issues e.g. counseling, preaching and interpreting Word of God in a right way.  I can’t forget that finance was another issue that I was struggling with. I used not to get any finances from my local church. Sometimes I used to travel from door to door evangelizing the gospel without claiming any coin from the church. I knew I had been sent to make disciples (Matthew 28:19) and no wonder I was not complaining.

Spiritual Growth.

 Still in the midst of encountering with the challenges, God did not let my foot to slip back.  Sidreck Chavula (friend) used to encourage me as my mentor throughout this spiritual journey. The interesting part of the whole journey is that the challenges made my spiritual life to grow from one level to another. I used to be strong in the Lord and trust on him alone.  “Some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God” (Psalm 20:7). That really inspires me.

Spiritual disciplines like fasting, personal prayers, praying for the sick, reading the scripture have really helped me to grow in my spiritual life.  I always put to my memory that the best thing is seek the kingdom and his righteousness and all things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33). He who is in me is greater than the one outside.  I normally pray to continue be used by God regardless how the body become weak or challenges at my dispose.

I always encouraged with what Paul says “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward” (Col.3:23-24). I have been engaged myself in visiting and praying the sick, preaching the gospel, witnessing  as well as attending communal worship as well as prayers. Currently I put forth prayer and Scripture reading as the daily disciplines in my spiritual walk. I have discovered that real prayer is life changing into deeper growth in Christian life.